Passing of Time
June 25, 2004
It was one year ago today that I took Xaros to the vet. Bringing him home, I was so worried it was something bad. I remember telling my mother on the phone that night that this could be my last night with him. He was diagnosed with cancer the next day.
I still have pictures around the house of him; he's still the screen saver on my computer and an avatar on the website forums I visit.
After his death, the house was pretty quiet. Coming home was tough - he was always there before. I would get up at night and be careful where I stepped, then remember he was gone. It wore me out.
I finally emailed Angelika Landers of Godinghofer Weg kennels. She told me that she had Darek available; he is Xaros' great-nephew (Xaros' brother, Xoschko, is Darek's grand-father). Darek's full name is Darek Vom Godinghofer Weg, just like Xaros'.
Darek was only two; he did not have a Schutzhund title. Angelika described him as "like a big puppy, curious and sometimes careful." I decided Darek needed a new home. He would not be a police dog, but a companion.
Darek arrived like Xaros - Lufthansa Airlines from Germany - and at first, he kept me pretty busy. Xaros and Meik were older and had Schutzhund titles; hence, more adult acting. Darek had obedience training but was definately curious (and young) - not quite a puppy.
Darek acts like Xaros at times, like Meik at times, and at times he's his own dog. I sometimes say to him, "Your uncle used to do that." Darek took to a Little Baby and has carried one around for about six months now...just like his uncle.
Darek's markings are similar to Xaros, except his face, which is more like Meik.
August 25, 2004
I cannot express with words how I feel today. Darek helps to fill the hole in my heart as Xaros did with Meik. I still miss them both.
August 25, 2005
It's been two years now. While mowing, I thought of Xaros and Meik and how they would sit and watch me from the front door. I looked up at the door and there was Darek, watching just as Xaros and Meik did. He has no idea the shoes he has to fill, but he is trying.
Darek is asleep at my feet. He has the same Little Baby that I gave him nearly two years ago between his paws. He has taken care of it.
August 25, 2011
It has been 8 years since Xaros passed. Darek will be 10 this year, he still carries around a Little Baby (though not the same one I gave him when he first came to live with me. The "original" Little Baby had a lawn mower accident when Darek left him outside one day. The current Little Baby is about 4 years old). Now I worry about Darek, he is getting up in years.
September 6, 2012
I won't go into all the details, but Darek was diagnosed today with an inoperable tumor in his throat and will not survive long; he has many complications. I will not let him suffer, he will pass at home like Xaros did, in my arms when the time comes. I am devastated. He would have been 11 next month. I don't think I can do this again.
September 20, 2012
I held him in my arms and told him he was brave, and that he was a good little puppy and I loved him. I looked in his eyes and he looked in mine, then he was gone.
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your
You are his life, his love, his leader.
He will be yours, faithful and true,
to the last beat of his heart.
You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
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