WHAT HAPPENED?

Thursday, February 18 and Friday morning, February 19, 2021

Late Thursday night/early Friday morning, he seemed off a little. He had coughed a little about 10pm or so then stopped. I gave him a treat and he ate it. At bedtime, a few hours later, he ate his “midnight” treats, but slowly. Normally, he ate them pretty fast. He climbed up on the bed, but every time he laid his head down, he would pop it back up after a minute or so. It was like he didn’t want to go to sleep or stay laying down. I petted him and rubbed his ears, and sang his little song (Who’s a little puppy, puppy, puppy, who’s a little puppy, puppy dog?) which normally made him give me a kiss. He didn’t. I felt his belly and seemed OK, was wondering if he ate something outside (maybe grass or  a stick?) that didn’t agree, then got him some cheese; he ate it, but again, slowly. Not like he really enjoyed it. Eventually, he went to sleep and so did I.

I woke up about 8:30am and he was on the floor in a usual spot. I told him to get up on the bed, but he went outside instead. He seemed to stagger as he walked through the bathroom towards his doggie-door. I looked out and he was just beyond the steps, laying on the ice. I opened the door and told him to come back in, which he did, but slowly, one step at a time. He climbed up on the bed and I got him to lay at the top with his head on the pillow, I lay back down and cuddled with him. I held his paw, stroked his ears, petted him, talked to him, and could tell his breathing seemed labored. Seemed fast and shallow. He fell asleep and I let him sleep for a bit. I rubbed his snout and it felt colder than normal, as did his paws.

After a bit I switched on the lights and could see that his gums looked ashen. I called the vet at 9:07am, told them he was sick, not sure what, described his symptoms, they said bring him in now.

Qorkey loved to go outside. Normally, when I said, “You want to go outside?” he would rush to the door, circle twice, then allow me to grab his collar, open the door, and attach his outside lead. He would then leap off the porch. This morning, he walked to the door rather unsteadily and waited. We went out, and he just stood on the porch. I got his leash and attached it and we went to the truck. He tried to jump in it but I had to help him. He lay down on the backseat; normally, on rides, he stood or sat so he could look out the windows.

We arrived at the vet at about 9:34am. Because of COVID restrictions, I couldn't go in so one of the techs came out and took Qorkey inside. After about 20 minutes Dr. Jeff came out. He told me it did not look good. He said a sonogram showed his lungs full of fluid and he was literally drowning, his abdomen full of fluid (blood), and at least one mass/tumor on his spleen that had ruptured. He could see other masses, too.

I asked if he thought it was hemangiosarcoma and he said yes. I knew what a horrible disease it was as Xaros had it, and I knew often times when the symptoms appear it is too late. I asked Dr. Jeff, “Is it time?” and he said yes. I knew at this stage there was no treatment that could help my little boy. Qorkey was hurting and it was time for him to cross the Bridge.  I was devastated.

We went inside. Qorkey was laying on the floor in a treatment room, he did not try to get up. He looked so tired, so different from the picture of him just 18 hours prior. His gums and tongue looked ashen, he was having trouble breathing, a short breath every second, I could hear the fluid in his lungs when he exhaled. I got on the floor and held him, cuddled him, spoke to him. Petted him. Before he walked out to give me some alone time, Dr. Jeff told me there was so much fluid in his lungs that he couldn’t hear his heartbeat when he was examining him. I spoke softly to Qorkkey, told him how much I loved him, and that soon he would be without pain and could run and play again. I hugged him and buried my cheek in his neck. Dr. Jeff came back in the room after a bit and said he’d give him a sedative, then the medicine to help him cross the Rainbow Bridge.

I was alone again with Qorkey and my tears were falling. I held him, and he used what little strength he seemed to have left to lift his head and lick my face. A final kiss from my little boy, as if he was saying “Be strong, I love you, and thank you.” I broke down again.

Dr. Jeff came back with his tech and gave him the first shot, I held Qorkey and looked him in the eyes, and stroked his head and ears. Before the next shot, I said “Are you sure?” and Dr. Jeff said “I’m sure.” I just had to make sure. Cradled in my arms, looking into his sweet brown eyes, I told him I loved him and then Qorkey crossed the Rainbow Bridge at 10:10am. I could tell when the spark left his eyes, and I said out loud, "He's gone." RIP My Little Boy Qorkey. No more pain and at peace. I gave him a final kiss goodbye and said "Goodbye Qorkey".

They will have Pine Hill pick him up and cremate him and make a plaster cast of his paw. I went home and got Qorkey’s favorite toy, his Little Baby Hedgehog, took out the squeaker and took it back to the vet so it can be cremated with Qorkey.